Laura, an independent insurance agent, and her five children between the ages of 16 and seven, found themselves suddenly and unexpectedly evicted last October, due to overwhelming debt that none of them had a hand in creating.
Laura's husband, who left the family seven years ago, periodically runs up bills for which Laura is liable, because Washington is a community property state. Last fall, Laura's bank account was frozen without her knowing it, which ultimately caused two months of rent checks to bounce. Their landlady evicted the family from their rental house - then sent Laura a bill for a total of $6,000. With nowhere to go and no way to access her assets, Laura and her children ended up in Hopelink's emergency shelter for six weeks while Laura got her finances straightened out.
"I don't like to ask for help," Laura says, "and we were a normal, boring family that never needed help. I resented having to be in the shelter in the first place, and I didn't understand why all those other people were there, either. I had a bad attitude about it all, believe me. The best thing about it is that my family could be together there. My kids were my support system. They cheered me up."
Even though they helped Laura cope with the discomfort and disappointment of having to stay in the shelter, Laura's children struggled with being there, too, particularly the three youngest: Jasmine, age eleven, Olivia, age nine, and Sam, age seven.
"The shelter we were in was a building of fully furnished apartment units," Laura comments, "so at least we had some privacy. It wasn't like a big dormitory or something. Nevertheless, it was not our place, we didn't have our things, and we couldn't keep our own routine of homework, dinner, relax and bed. To make sure all the residents stay safe, and to guard against people who don't belong there, the shelter has rules about visitors and curfews. All of that added to their stress."
Olivia, whom Laura calls "my firecracker," is normally a happy, positive girl, full of energy and life. She changed into a consistently cranky and negative child for the entire time, grumbling about how things were "never going to get better" and how much she hated her life. ("I called her my nine-year-old crotchety 85-year-old," Laura recalls.) For his part, seven-year-old Sam cried a lot from being overly tired. The family's normally predictable routine was completely disrupted, down to the time the kids normally go to bed, and that affected Sam the most. At the same time, he was the most optimistic, believing that as long as the family stuck together, things would work out.
Laura's oldest child is 19-year-old Sierra, who is a psychology major at Northwest University in Kirkland and lives on campus. Even though she wasn't with her family in the shelter, the shelter experience hit her hard, too - precisely because she couldn't be with them.
Laura explains. "It was hard for Sierra to not see us as frequently as she is used to, and to know her younger brothers and sisters were struggling with the lack of normalcy."
The family felt that they had nothing in common with the other people at the shelter. None of them had ever known anyone who had slipped through the cracks and needed help from an agency like Hopelink. As with many people, Laura particularly held preconceived notions, made assumptions and found herself judging the other shelter residents.
"I knew what had gotten us into this situation, but I couldn't begin to understand how everyone else had gotten kicked out of their housing," she remembers. "I felt bad about the feelings I had and knew the only way I could change them was to get to know people better."
During their six-week stay at the shelter, when she wasn't working or transporting her children to school or other commitments, Laura decided to concentrate on developing relationships with other clients there.
"They are really kind, good people who came from places where they are really living out a bad cycle," Laura says. "I realized that for them, coming to Hopelink was an important opportunity to make a difference in their lives and break that cycle.
"I got a better understanding, and a little more compassion, for where people come from," Laura continues. "If we were there for no other reason, I think God wanted to make us better people. We learned to be humble and more accepting and not judgmental."
By combining her own money with funds from Hopelink's rental assistance program, Laura was able to rent another house in Shoreline for her family, for which she is grateful and relieved. She still has some additional financial obligations hanging over her head, but hopes to get those resolved before too long. Laura desperately wants to get back on track financially so she can save the cash she needs to hire an attorney and finally get divorced. Additionally, Laura looks forward to being able to afford a down payment on her own home. Lastly, Laura dreams of a day when she is able to make a large gift to Hopelink, earmarked for programs aimed at breaking the poverty cycle.
"There's no doubt my family and I learned some very valuable life lessons in Hopelink's shelter," Laura reiterates, "and we'll never forget them. I know that those lessons have made a difference in how we approach the world."
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